10 people

I started doing some volunteer work for The People's Place Shelter about a month and a half ago here in Red Deer. Tonight was only my third shift and we had to turn people away. 10 of them to be exact.

How things normally work is like this. At the PPS we have 23 people who can live at the shelter for a max of 28 days provided they come in every night not under the influence of any drugs what so ever and that they have a plan to meet while they're there (e.g- find a job, deal with emotional problems, find an apartment, etc.) The other people who need a place to stay (which is around 17 to 23 an average night during winter) are signed up to what is know known as "Inn from the Cold" and given shelter for the night by local churches. Normally 12 to 15 people will go to one church and the others the first church don't have room for will go to a second one. However, tonight was different.

At first the second overflow church said they needed another volunteer (1 or 2 at the most)to stay till 8 in the morning if they were going to open up for the night. So, one of us at the shelter said we'd do it and then next thing you know the church is making the excuse they can't open up if the weather isn't predicted to drop below -20 because they signed some papers with the city of Red Deer saying -20 is the magic number that defines when overflow shelters are needed. What does someone even say to something like that?

It is now -20 degrees celcius (with windchill) and 10 people out of the 22 that applied for Inn from the Cold tonight are sleeping outside.

This type of stuff makes me too tired to be angry.

It came to me at night, the original base for the idea anyways. All my most intresting ideas come to me then because there is no sun light for me at such a time to illuminate the other ramifications such actions might have.

In the dead of day, it's different. You see the different paths it might lead and you slow yourself down to the point where you move as fast as you would wearing stone shoes while your eyes ricochet back and forth like you were on speed between the desired and the undesired. "Raise the moon, raise it now!" something echoes inside your head.

I hate the bland. That's the reason I become uninterested in life these days; it's the blandness. The repitition and the already determined results of those actions; it sickens me. The last two days my perception hasn't been bland. With action and delayed responses there is nothing but possibility. I think I know what the answer will be, but without it being said, I can still be here. I can be relaxed. Strange how that is eh?

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P.S- I left the message yesterday because I was trying to be interesting despite the fact I knew calling you again might have the effect of being annoying the way I find it annoying when people call me all the time when I don't need to talk to them. I don't want you to think I'm bland. Maybe that's because I am; maybe it's because I'm not. Maybe I like being bland despite the fact that I hate being surrounded by it. Is that possible?

Oh well, whatever. The world is still spinning.

The Vagina Monologues

Just got back from a showing of the play down in Red Deer. For those of you don't know the Vagina Monologues is the brainchild of Eve Ensler and was written over 11 years ago. Originally it was created for the purpose of celebrating the sexuality of femininity, but has also evolved over the years to become a campaign to stop violence against women. If it ends up coming to your neck of the woods I would strongly reccomend checking it out. The tickets are 25 dollars, but if you volunteer (like me! Thanks Erin) at the play usually you can get yourself in for free.


It was nice to see that The Memorial Centre, which can hold over 800 people, was sold out tonight. For anyone that ends up seeing it in the future keep and ear out for "The Flood" monologue with the Bert Reynolds dream segment coming from the 72 year old. It's a gut squeezer.

Just a few tidbits to keep in mind when considering the status of women in the world today:

-In many countries (Keyna for example) femal circumcision is common practice to be done with a razor or a shard of glass which usually leads to infection or hemmorhaging which can be fatal. For guys, when considering this keep in mind that the female clitorus has over 8000 nerve endings in it which is almost twice the amount on penis. Infibulation (also referred to as pharaonic circumcision), is the most extreme form, consisting of the removal of the clitoris, the adjacent labia (majora and minora), and the joining of the scraped sides of the vulva across the vagina, where they are secured with thorns or sewn with catgut or thread. A small opening is kept to allow passage of urine and menstrual blood. An infibulated woman must be cut open to allow intercourse on the wedding night and is closed again afterwards to secure fidelity to the husband. Drinks anyone?

-Close to a million women and children are trafficked into sex slavery every year. I've mentioned it before but I would strongly reccomend to anyone interested to go and read The Natashas by Victor Malarek for more information on the matter

-In India it is reported that only one in 69 rape cases in India are even reported. Only 20 % of those reported result in convictions for the rape accused. The police, even when they get to know of a rape, or even when a rape victim approaches them, almost always discourages the family from filing a complaint. Often they are threatened, if the alleged rapist is someone in a powerful position. Some other times, the police reminds the victim's family of the social repercussions and attention (and permanent social humiliation, no marriages for anyone else in the family etc. etc) and the victim returns home to wash away all evidence of the crime.

-In Canada it is estimated that only 6% of sexual assaults are reported to police. In 1999 (sorry about the outdated statistic), in Canada, 23,872 sexual assaults (total of all types) were reported to police. You do the math. I'm not a girl so this is just a guess, but from those I have talked to about such things one could easily make the argument most women do not feel comfortable going to the police because of humiliation and or lack of confidence in the peoples that are supposed to be protecting them due to unfair streotyping.


Given these types of attitudes by men in all societies awarness campaigns put on by shows like The Vagina Monologues are all the more poignently important these days. Your actions are of course always influenced by your beliefs and without education ingnorance only perpetuates itself leading to the statitics in the latter.


For more information on the Vagina Monologues you can go here and for more information on the attrocities that are committed towards women all over the world you can go here.

Catching Thoughts Shaped like Gingerbread Men

I used to labor under the belief that once something is done, it is done. The great and at the same time horrible fact about most things on this is earth is that such a phrase can usually be proven wrong.

I am about to try and undo the end of something that has already passed. I have very little expectation that I will succeed but strangely enough that doesn't seem to matter to me as much as it might have sometime ago. Make no mistake, what I'm going to attempt is selfish; there is no getting around that and I wouldn't in a life time try to convince anyone otherwise. So, for that, I apologize. All I can do is try and justify the lexicon of the word in its present footing.

When I say selfish, I do not mean it with its usual negative conotation that I am thinking only of myself at the expense of another, not entirely anyways. For the last while I have been trying to let go of someone who for her own reasons felt the need to let go of me. I swear to God I've been trying. Unfortunately, I haven't done such a good job, despite the fact that I doubt more than a few people actually know.

The word is geared in a sense that it is meant to bring me towards an end which will bring me towards one of two other endings, one of which will involve the possible annoyance of another. I say annoyance in that because if something ends there is usually a reason and rythem for that ending and rarely have I been one to ever challenge such things. I mean, who is anyone to put the weight on another that they are the reason for a possible detriment in that persons own life?

Whatever happens all I ask is you know that that's not what I'm getting at ok? My failings are my own and no one elses. I've just been thinking latley that when I've been in such situtions before I've always considered the attempt of going back to be a weakness, and I'm not even sure I still don't. But where emotion is involved, I'm not so sure anymore I can blame people for at least trying- for at least being honest. Obviously there is line not to be crossed, but I think such a line would have more to do with repetition than it would the actual shape.

My honesty is that I still miss you. I miss everything about you. The way your hair used to smell in the morning, the feel of your skin, the way you'd smile when I'd smile looking at you. God you had a beautiful smile.

Things end. I've never been under any illusion that would say otherwise. But, if the things I mentioned above were only meant to be witnessed by me for a short amount of time, then I need to be 100% sure there's nothing left of me in your head.

Once I know I promise I will push myself along and leave this be.

California

Hello, my name is common sense. It's nice to meet you.

The incandescent light bulb, perfected for mass use by Thomas A. Edison in the late 19th century, is being supplanted by fluorescent lighting that is more efficient and longer lasting. Last month, California Assemblyman Lloyd Levine announced he would propose a bill to ban the use of incandescent bulbs in his state.

And Thursday, New Jersey Assemblyman Larry Chatzidakis introduced a bill that calls for the state to switch to fluorescent lighting in government buildings over the next three years.

It will be interesting to see if passed, what kind of a precident this could set for other states or provinces around the world.

Hello Sunset, Hello Sunrise

I’ve been wondering lately, who do you think had it worse? Hobbs for having to believe in the worst in mankind when all one normally wants to do is believe in the best; or Locke for choosing to believe in the best in a world where the opposite would normally be easier perceived?

I want my money back.